I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.. GOAL: 48KG ! !
I NEED TO REDUCE PIMPLE SCARING.. GOAL:
lemon water [3 times a week]
lemon treatment [3 times a week]
avoid oily foods !!
problems studying . . .
i am very much lacking in motivation to study~
lately i just feel as if i dont give a damn about studying anymore... im not ashamed of failing... but i cant help but feel abit left out from my whole cohort because i am kind of like half their year and half the lower year now~ ok maybe 'left out' isnt the word... but do you know what i mean?
anyway, i have been taking pleasure in the little things in life, such as watching old movies like wizard of oz and casablanca, chilling and doing nothing for hours, and sipping cups of coffee on sofas~ i feel like i am enjoying life very well now, despite uni [which is full of crap].
i really want to just stop for this semester. just travel to another country and enjoy myself for half a year before coming back to chiro. chiro is hard. how can the people in my year be so dedicated to their studies so diligently? how can they study every night and in the weekend as well?
i used to be able to do that... however now its not the case. i cant seem to study properly nowadays... maybe failing a unit has made me feel so crap about myself, and that deep down i am really just giving up, despite the appearance of having been over this traumatic event.
i am not usually like this. before, i used to be able to study everyday, and in the weekend. maybe this is a sign that i really need a break.
hmm... i guess i shall push myself harder one last time, since next year will technically be like a gap year for me.
one last push.
i can do this right?
do you have faith in me?
화이팅 . . .
i failed 302.
my 'gap yr' life begins nxt yr.
end of story.
time to get drunk now.
so today started off not so great~
i was worried, stressed, panic.
it was neuro prac supp exam today~!!!!
i was praying.... ANYTHING bt a baby!!! dnt give me a baby!!!
AND I DIDNT GET A BABY!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!
bilateral leg pain, and low back pain ^.^V
screwed up abit in phys exam, but apparently i did better than i thought, BECAUSEEEEE.....
dr. B said "YOU PASS" .... ANNNDDDDDD HE SAIDDDD....
"I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU"
BUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*jump up and down frantically waving arms*
u have no idea how happy i am right nw~ i cant even study fr radio supp just yet!!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDD
so happy.
came home, mum was proud everyone was proud of me, i ate alot, caught up on all my tv series, did face mask, and drank a huge glass of absolute mandarin!!!!
i am now ready to crash for the day [7pm], and bring on tmr!!!! I CAN ACTUALLY PASS 303 I THINK!!!!!!!! [now pray that 302 dr. L is ultra nice to me and think of my super gd 1-mark-off-an-HD adjustment skills and let me scrape a pass!!!! >...< PLS GOD I WILL PROMISE FROM NOW ON I WILL NOT TAKE STUDY TIME FOR GRANTED.... I WILL NOT GO TO BARS TOO MANY TIMES AFTER UNI..... I WILL B A GOOD STUDENT FROM NOW ON. I WILL SHINE!!!! AMEN!!! ]
today was a tough day~ 302 supp exam was a disaster ~ i have no words to describe how i feel right nw~ im kind of glad that its over, but kind of thinking WHYYYYY LOSCO..... WHY DIDNT U PUT TUMOURS INTO THE EXAM!?!?
sigh~
please by the miracle of God, let me pass this unit this sem~ i am rly begging here~~
what is the meaning of life?
the world is too complicated as it is right now~ once upon a time, it wasn't~ life was simple...
we wake. we eat. we go about our chores. we maintain our farms. we spend time with family and fellow villagers. we are all apart of a single close-bonded community.
at night we dance. feast. then go to sleep.
so what has changed?
why is it that now there is so much STRESS just to carry on with our days?
sometimes i wonder, why bother? why do i put myself through this shit? you only live once afterall~
but of course the question remains: will i live a good and comfortable life if i just dont bother?
if i just give up now and move on to other simpler things, does it mean i will not be as successful next time?
its all about a bit of sacrifice isnt it? i get it.
but in sacrifice, it is often painstakingly difficult to want to continue~
perserverance only goes so far~ past this, are feelings of heartache, failure, and wanting to simply let go and give up.
i sometimes wonder... what if this really isnt the thing for me? what am i going to do? i cannot even sit myself down to study this shit anymore.
its that shitty.
im so sick of freakin osteoporosis and spondylosis and arthritis and etc!!! ARGHHH!!!! CHIRO IS NOT GONNA CURE U OF THESE DISEASES MANNN~~~
sometimes i really dont know why chiropractors think they are better than doctors and stuff~ I MEAN COMMON. IF THE PATIENT HAS OSTEOPOROSIS, THEYRE EVENTUALLY GONNA END UP SEEKING THE HELP OF A DOCTOR. what can chiropractors do huh? ADJUST? MANIPULATE? what is the difference between those 2 words anyway huh!?!?
geeez~ im honestly getting so damn fed-up over this profession right now. and im studying it. omfg. F . M . L .
ERRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so stressed in winter break~ this stress better b worth it.... i better pass these supps, otherwise im gonna seriously consider changing courses~
can u believe it though!!!?? 3 freakin supps to do!!!!!!!! GAHHHH~~~~ i am going NUTS!!!!!!
no-one should be put through this kind of stress.
chiro sucks.
end of story.
granted with a little ray of hope . . .
today marks the first time in my life that i have to do a supp exam~
not even one~
but for 2 UNITS~ sigh~
i mean i guess i kinda saw this coming, seeing as i already failed the compulsory-pass-practical-exam before the final exams even started....
so i guess that i am ultra grateful that Dr. B has granted me a supp~ [ i really hope i didnt have to do radio supp aswell though :S ]
and 302~ like i mean i was on a very low score before final exams....
i mustve done really well in my practical to have gotten a pass mark for it.... but probably failed the theory paper, hence the need for me to do a supp for it~
i hope by God's miracle that results will change by the time monday comes, to show that i no longer need to sit for 302 supp anymore [ and just pass the unit ]...
although very far fetched, i must still have some hope right? hope in the board of examiners, hope in the lecturer, hope for myself, and most importantly hope in God~
pleaseeee~~~~
... & i dont really ask for anything more for 303 though, coz i am super relieved i got that supp rather than failing all together [which really wouldve been tragic news] ....
so im gonna seize this 2nd chance opportunity to redeem myself~
i will try my hardest from now on to not fail & drop down a year~
i need to pass these supps well and move on with my life~ not get stuck in doing the unit again...
but if it doesnt happen, then i guess life must go on~
for now though, there is still hope ...
i believe in a thing called faith. i believe in a thing called hope. but most of all, i believe in a thing called LOVE .
